I was walking through a particular town the other day when I noticed a trend. I could almost call it a fashion trend as I saw one on the hands of about ten girls that strolled by. I has started to wonder if a ship had docked nearby… when I remembered that this parish did not have a coastal area. I drew it to the attention of my friend and she smirked. So I questioned the reason for the smirk and her response was, ” Oh, the white man,you think she love him?” “All she see when she see him is chi ching $$$$!!!”
I was a bit surprised and truly pondered if that was how those girls truly felt. Most of the statuses on Facebook for the new year are about rearranging priorities, letting go off stressful people and finding love. Most of the stress and problems are centered around our need to find a suitable partner… and Heaven knows those are hard to find!
Since I’ve been watching television and cartoons, none has manged to steal my heart like The Penguins of Madagascar managed to. The riveting animations packed with intense research, facts and life lessons have manged to teach me a thing or two about love. King Julien XIII is quite popular with his narcissistic tendencies, Kowalski, for his ingenious inventions and ideas, Rico for his destructive nature and poor language skills, Skipper for his exceptional leadership and Private, for all things gentle. Somehow, Private and his undying love for Lunicorns has taught me so much that I got inducted into penguin Culture.
Did you know that when penguins find their perfect mate they hand them a perfect pebble? This pebble is a symbol to spend life together util the end. Lunicorns to some are imaginary- just as some believe that true love is imaginary- but still Private still holds on to this belief. I found that really sweet and it led me to wonder what are the characteristics they look for before they hand over that perfect pebble.
Here are the characteristics I think they look for that we should look for too before we give or accept that pebble.
1. Similar Economic Background– I think this is important as many relationships end over finances because both parties have different values on money. If both persons are coming from the same background then most likely the values on the matter would be similar and no one end up feeling exploited or deprived.
2. Similar Beliefs – This is one of the most important traits. If morals, values and mores are different. It will take a miracle for this to work. What would you teach the children if any come about? What to cook, wear, say, do to your hair etc, will come up eventually and if the views are incompatible- things could get ugly
3. Ease In Communication– One has to be able to communicate well with their spouse. It aids in problem prevention, problem solving and helps to make things run more smoothly. If communication is not easily done between you two- you may want to hold on to that pebble.
4. Patience– Sadly most of us don’t possess that virtue. People often say to me that I will be still waiting- even when I’m 60- sad! But others have found it, so maybe it’s not waiting for Godot after all. Sometimes we lack patience because we feel lonely and just take the first Joe or Jane that shows some interest in us… even if we don’t really like them. It is then we get patient but for the wrong things because when that persons starts to show their dirty colours we rationalize and condone the foolishness which usually leads to doom.
5. Kindness- Love is not rude it fosters sharing and good nature. Even if it gets upset, it will not resort to derogatorily describing your mom or the poor aspects of your anatomy that have nothing to do with the conflict!
6. Not Self Seeking- If they really love you they would want the best for you. This includes pressuring the mate for sex- even if they don’t want to or looking out for one’s own interest in general. Remember, sharing is caring
7. Forgives and Forgets – Have you ever been in an argument with something simple and they start to recall incidents from when you were in preschool that you did? Well, love doesn’t do that. Forgiveness is hard, but when do they do forgive they should not hold it against you.(No i’m not preaching). Just saying that if you start an argument with past hurt in mind it escalates your emotions and when you’re making all that noise and thinking, “I’m right!” You are overreacting… Trust me!
8. Not Easily Angered- Notice it never said, ‘Doesn’t Get Angry’ Anger is a human emotion is it is likely to surface sometime. If this person gets angry easily, they may have an anger problem and may be setting yourself up to be a future punching bag… For this trait- I wave a RED FLAG
9.Protects- When you truly care about someone you try to protect their assets reputation, etc and in the case of danger, Adrenaline will provide you with the necessary strength to bring out your inner superman or superwoman.
10. Trust – I put this at the end just in case you thought I was blabbing too much and read the top, bottom and middle parts. This is the most important one I think. It helps manage the jealousy and if this exists will allow for a strong relationship. If there is no trust, the relationship will not last.
Think about it… Does the person you are with or the person who seek have these qualities? They probably should have at least 8. Make sure the bum wuk (really good sex) doesn’t cloud your judgement Dopamine and Oxycontin can lead you to think all is well by making you feel good.
Just think about it… have some patience to look for these traits and do not settle as someone is out there waiting to hand you that perfect pebble.